Children dying- should it be their choice?

The start of the new year. Already I have heard of two mothers I know who have lost their children through death. It brings sobering thoughts. As a nurse and midwife I have cared for many who have experienced death, as a mum I have been blessed so far to not experience such a devastating pain. This is what I imagine it to be,  as, even as I have heard of these others, I have felt a knot in my stomach and a deep emotional response- and I am not even that close to the situation.  The celebrity chef Mary Berry recent described this loss as a mother in a television interview: ‘You don’t get over it- you live with it’.

Such pain.

But at the same time as hearing these stories there have been reports of the decision in Belgium to allow euthanasia for terminally ill children at any age. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25651758 I find this as a mother such a difficult concept. The feelings and understandings of any child at different ages are so different how can we really know that this child wants to end their life? I know I have not been in that situation personally but I have cared for children of all ages who have been dying and babies as well. None of us wants to see suffering and extreme pain in one we love, but I do wonder how the judgments will be made that this child really wants to make the choice at age 10, for example, that they don’t want to live any more. I can’t imagine how that parent sitting by the bed side would react to that. So many difficult questions and emotions but oh, what pain.